OLD FRIENDS…

Stating that my friend Narelle is an old friend makes me smile, because I can still hear her now telling me that she’s not old! She is certainly younger than me and I love her claim that her age in numbers doesn’t make her or anyone old. Age is irrelevant and time is an illusion, a lesson I revisited recently. (See my post Noche De San Juan - 6/24/24)

Age is a state of mind and while it is important to listen to our bodies as our soul’s mode of transport does age with time, our spirit is timeless. So my definition of an ‘old friend’ is a term that I use to describe someone I have been friends with for a long time. Length of actual time is somewhat irrelevant, but going with the flow of accepted perception, I have known Narelle for thirty years; I suspect I have known her in other lifetimes too.

Nonetheless, Narelle’s friendship is beautiful and precious to me. We live in different countries, which was not always the case, but certainly, we have for a long time, lived many miles away from each other. Our friendship is the kind that we can get on with our busy lives and not speak for weeks or months, but as soon as we do, it’s like no time has passed; we pick up from where we last left off. Time is the illusion because for whatever reason, our souls are intrinsically linked. Narelle would say that our friendship is easy because she doesn’t have to ‘warm it up’ every time we speak. There’s a natural ease to our presence. Our friendship has no agenda. I can be with her and know that I will never be judged, that I will always be seen and heard.

Narelle has known me for three decades. She has known me as the young mum, the professional working woman, seen me through the pain of a cheating ex and the death of my soulmate. She has witnessed most of my rollercoaster life, all the good, bad and the ugly parts. She is one of the constants in my life, and for someone who has abandonment issues, parents and relationships, Narelle’s longterm friendship gives me a sense of belonging.

She’s a good person, extremely kind, motivated and funny. Her character allows me to recognise that I must have similar qualities too, which is important, because the goodness in her, helps me to see it in me too. On writing this, I thought of one other soul that allows me to feel this way, and was drawn to look at the time on my PC. The time was 8:44… to me, an angel number, 44. That made me smile. The sense of Oneness and never being truly alone, physically or spiritually, never fails to blow me away.

This time last week, Narelle was here with me in Spain.

We speak often on Zoom, but had not seen each other in person for over three years.

A trusted local friend, drove me to the airport to collect Narelle; my fear of driving to certain locations not once judged by either. I shared the journey to the airport with a bunch a ladies returning back to the UK after a holiday. All four of the women were from Yorkshire, from my hometown; we chatted about the places I knew or remembered, laughed at the coincidences. As they left with their luggage, I had a pang of feeling homesick. I had silent questions about what was home and whether it was the daily or regular accessibility to having a group of close-knit friends. I wondered what my life would look like if I had returned to Yorkshire rather than remaining in Spain after my leap of faith to start over.

Whatever thoughts had entered my mind were quickly erased as I waited with excitement for the first sight of my friend in arrivals at Almeria Airport. The rush of absolute joy on seeing her face as she appeared through the electronic sliding doors; the first hug in years and then none stop talking. Talking that lasted for days and at times, rendered us immobile, rooted to the terrace, laughing as Narelle repeatedly said, “look at that,” in reference to the landscape of cacti, olive, orange and carob trees, against a backdrop of mountains.

My itinerary of places to visit went out of the window because Narelle had come to see me, and that was what was important to her. From my terrace, she could see why I loved my part of Spain; she knew instinctively why the place I live is the perfect home for me. With ease, Narelle unwittingly erased any pangs I had for Yorkshire, because she saw within me, that I was already home and helped me to re-realise that the bond of friendship can easily overcome physical distance.

We enjoyed seafront and mountain walks. We ate whatever we wanted, shared vegetarian meals overlooking the Mediterranean, scoffed pizza in the pueblo and tasty Chinese cuisine in Puerto Rey. We travelled to my favourite coffee shop for dessert; stuffed our faces with baked cheesecake, which we ate after pizza in celebration of Narelle’s birthday. Never tiring of chatting and laughing, often at ourselves; finding humour in the fact that we both now need reading glasses to establish whether an object on the floor is something dangerous that needed to be eradicated quickly, only to learn on closer inspection that it was a feather!

A feather! I laughed, as it was potentially a visit from the angels. More laughter as we acknowledged our different beliefs, while realising that our destination was still the same: To work on ourselves, to become the best version of our individual Selfs.

Time together was healing in itself. But we still found time to offer additional healing to one another. I did a sound therapy session on Narelle as my birthday treat to her. In return, our natural conversations led her to offering me a Havening session; she saw within me that I was periodically stuck in negative fear and self-worth patterns. I love to offer therapies, but admit that I struggle to receive, to be the focus of anyone’s attention.

Nonetheless, I gratefully accepted the gift of Narelle’s Havening work and it was simply beautiful. Through gentle touch and words, Narelle helped me to access the parts of me that were still hurting and causing me to get stuck in limiting thought patterns. The process was deeply nurturing and unconditionally loving, while practical, in promoting deep reflection that led to Narelle assisting me in creating positive affirmations to overcome the areas in my Self that had become blocked. Havening helped me see what was still making me unhappy; where change still needed to occur. I slept with ease that night for the first time in years; my head literally hit the pillow and I was gone to the land of nod. No tossing and turning for hours. Within 24 hours, I found the confidence to remove an emotional block that had been holding me back. More on that later in another blog.

In three days, the connection of an old friendship, offered me the joy, love and healing that was needed to set me back on my individual path. Loneliness was quashed. Love and self-worth was reignited. Through Narelle, I also reconnected with my creativity, to know that I can write; she was witness to a play that I wrote during COVID. A play called Mother’s Pride, which was directed by a mutual friend Marcus Romer and performed, script-in-hand, on Zoom, by an amazing bunch of actors.

Thanks to her, the play is currently now being revisited and for the first time, I read my work with pride and see its worth; value that had been constantly quashed before I took the initial leap of faith to find my Self.

Narelle has plans for the play. Contacts. So, there is the added excitement of seeing where that goes. The synchronicity of this is not lost on me either; Narelle and I met via the theatre. I had been involved in an annual theatre festival that promoted new writing. I had passion and believed that the world was my oyster at that time. Narelle had approached me in the theatre bar during the interval and had told me that I was someone that she knew she wanted to get to know; that was thirty years ago! Interestingly, Marcus was also part of the same annual theatre festival; Walk the Plank.

Now, Narelle and I, are back to talking about plays and trips to the Edinburgh Fringe; the two decades of stagnation in an unhealthy marital relationship has evaporated as the old Self, the true Self, begins to re-emerge. With Narelle’s help I am reconnecting with what makes me, the writer, the storytelling and at the same time, looking forward to embracing the newer parts of Me, the therapy work. In the three days, Narelle was in Spain, we also managed to visit a potential retreat space; plans are afoot to run workshops that combine the essence of us. More to follow in the coming months.

I am grateful for this old friend, for we know each other well enough on a soul level, to help each other be true to the Self. We are each other’s light and companion on this journey, and for that, I will feel eternally blessed.

Oh, look at that… the end time of writing is 11:11. Thank you angels.

With love & gratitude,

Sally Jayne xxx